We’re back.  Tell a friend.

I hope you all have been well.  Italy was quite wonderful, but I’m not unhappy to be back.  Let’s get right down to it.

Cheers to seeing things for the first time a second and third time.  I was driving back onto Furman’s campus the other day, from a koolaid and protein run.  I realized that I hadn’t looked up at the trees bordering the front gate in as long as I can remember.  I drove up and down the mall, looked at the trees, looked at the fountains, looked at the sun’s return and its effect on the campus.  It was nice to have a taste of spring a few months early.  Sometimes, its the going away and the coming back that makes you appreciate the times you spend in such a beautiful place.

Jeers to the senior gift.  Given the choice between covered bike racks and/or geothermal energy for NV and a glorified treadmill, they choose hamster power?  Really?  I mean, I know Furman is hard up for money, with its $400 bazillion fundraising drive (we care, Furman, our tuition money proves it), but really?

Jeers to Moe’s, not living up to their promise of free Queso on Wednesdays.  Small thing?  Yes.  But, after all, the little things are the spice of life, and my life is more bland because the Paladen Penny Pinchers.

Cheers to outgoing professors.  We’ve loved them, we’ve hated them, but at the end of the day, we have to respect them.  Here’s to all those folks, professors, administrators, and staff, who are retiring this year or this summer, and those who are shuffling around in their responsibilities.  We’ll miss having you around.

Let us know what you’re cheering and jeering about this week!

That’s right!  It’s almost summer!  So, what are we cheering and jeering about on the cusp of our glorious days of rest?

Cheers this week to Furman Engaged!, a great success all around.  While I was worried that most people would be too sleepy or hung over to go out to events (and I know some of you did; you know who you are!!!), most events were well attended, and it looks like next year we’ll have another Friday chock full of lots of interesting stuff.  Or sleep.  Either way, everyone wins.

Jeers (again) to Mark Sanford.  As we follow the continuing saga of the wannabe Presidential Candidate for 2012, he’s decided to accept federal stimulus money.  After playing chicken with Barack Obama with much-needed funding for the education of South Carolina’s children on the line, it sure as hell wasn’t Mr. Obama that blinked.  Anyone need more proof that it was all a political stunt?

Cheers to Furman for landing a dialogue with the sitting President of Liberia, Miss Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.  I’d encourage everyone to read up about her, and go to see her lecture.  We all have a tendancy to ignore those things that aren’t a direct part of our daily existance, but the issues facing Africa right now, including AIDS, Drug-Resistant TB, and the Inflation Crisis in Zimbabwe, the issues facing Africa are most certainly global, and important.  It’s not every day we get a chance to ask questions of a sitting president in an open forum.  You know I’ll be there, next Monday.

Jeers to Popularity.  Have fun.  Life is short.

And, I am terribly sorry about forgetting last week, because it is tradition here to add a cute surprise onto the end of the Cheers and Jeers.  So, this week, I have TWO!

Cute and…

More Cute!

Cute Puppy!

“As part of our growing effort to make Furman a fully sustainable campus, and in light of the harsh economic times, we are combining self-reliant education and sustainability in these new pottery classes,” Dr. Shi remarked in a video address to students made available on the Furman University website.  “Students will be able to take their hand-made dishware to the Dining Hall and the PalaDen, cutting down on cleaning costs and the need to replace broken dishes.”

Classes will be on Friday afternoons at 4:00, and taught by faculty from the Science, Music, and English disciplines.  Like the CLP program, students will be required to attend a specific number of pottery sessions during their time at Furman.  Details were not given on the length of the program, or the standards for passing.

“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” commented Patricia MacDonald.  “I’ve always loved pottery, and getting class credit for getting my hands dirty is a dream come true.”

Construction has already begun on a giant fire kiln that will replace the Eco Cottages.

What do you think about Furman’s new policy?  Let us know in the comments.

Cheers to whoever set up the schedule to give us 3 4-day weeks in a row.  Furman Engaged (which we have a full run-down of here) this Friday, and then Easter Friday/Monday.  It’s just what everyone needs going into this stressful time.  That being said, go to Furman Engaged.  I know you’ll be tired, want to sleep in, might be hung over, but it’s gonna be worth it.  Lots of cool things going on that day.

Jeers this week to bull-headed Mark Sanford, abandoning his state’s portion of the Federal Stimulus funds in order to make a political statement.  Don’t you love living in a country where the little letter in parenthesis after your name is more important than your civically elected duties?  That being said, (and I never thought I would say this), but Cheers to CSBT for bringing him into a public forum where people can ask questions about his idiocy.

Jeers to the weather forcing Relay for Life to reschedule.  Not that you can really jeer a geological process.  But I’m gonna try, dammit.  And it’s not like I can jeer God.

And, by the way, I loved all of the response back about the new calendar system.  It’s a pretty controversial topic, agreed, and the comments have made me step back and reexamine my position.  That said, I still feel the same way.

What are you Cheering and Jeering about this week?

I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long.  You know how it is.  Boy meets blog, boy gets hospitalized with the flu, comes close to failing a few tests, and decides to procrastinate for the next ones by getting with the blog again.  So right to it…

Jeers this week to the swan in the middle of the lake.  Isn’t there a better way to raise awareness for the waste of bottled water than to create visual pollution yourselves?  I understand that awareness is important, but this isn’t Darfur, this isn’t human rights… it’s rampant plastic water bottle usage.  Still bad, but not “Awareness Campaign” worthy.  What if the thing sinks?  I’m not going to go rescue it from the bottom of the lake.

Cheers to Founder’s week and its excellent set of CLP’s.  In case you missed it, make sure to check out this week’s CLP Roundup.  Now, sure, it means that there will be more old people around campus, but that also means better food in the DH.  And you’re not complaining about that, now are you?

Jeers to the inebriated morons who trashed a bunch of bikes this past weekend.  You know who you are.  And if you’re reading this blog, you’re the only ones laughing.  What in our culture has made it acceptable, even humorous, to destroy other people’s property?  Maybe I missed the joke, but more likely, you just missed the part of your upbringing where someone was supposed to teach you about your obligation to others and your responsibility as an intelligent human being.  And for that, we’re all sorry.  I hope FuPo has a stroke of effectiveness, finds you, and expels you.

Cheers, albeit belated, go out this week to the decision to change to the new calendar system.  Upon almost a full year of classes and reflection in the best and worst of times, I think the system works out better this ways.  It still has kinks that need to be worked out (coughcoughlanguagescough), but the curriculum change, along with the switch to every-other-day classes, allows students to do more with the time they’re given here.  Got an opinion?  It would be sooo good to hear it.

And, in case you’re new here, Cheers every week to PUPPIES!

What are you Cheering and Jeering about this week?

Cheers this week to the Economic Stimulus Package that was signed into law by President Obama in Denver yesterday.  It may not be perfect, but it is a step in the right direction, and most certainly not too little, too late.  Receiving wide bipartisan support everywhere but the United States Congress, the stimulus package will begin the work of pulling us out of the Bush Recession.  Like the term?  Start using it.

Another Cheers to the Phi Mu Alpha Modern Music Concert, which raised $307.00 for Lakeview Middle School’s band and strings program, which receives as its annual budget a whopping $550.00.  This will go toward increasing their number of instruments, their music library (which consists of 16 pieces), and numerous other purchases that the teacher would have to buy herself, or the students would have to do without, due to a budgetary cut by the SC State Legislature.  And in relation to that…

Jeers to the SC Public Education system.  Who ever thought that the arts were something expendable?  Only in a paradoxical society like ours where the rights and sanctity of the individual are championed could we have such a low value placed on creativity and artwork in our public school system.  What, did you think that only learning a particular skill could take kids out of their situation, sometimes one that places them in an abysmal schooling program, and make for them (rather, allow them to make for themselves) something better than Fate ever had planned for them?  It is our responsibility as a society to foster and support the arts from the very youngest level of education, not to treat Arts Education like a leisure activity, the first thing to be cut when the budget falls short.  Cheers to the teachers that endure, putting their students’ best interests at heart, but Jeers to those who see the arts as irrelevant and those who would re-elect them.

Cheers today to Peanut Butter, because I’m still eating it.

Cheers go out to Michael Phelps, who won’t be prosecuted by the Columbia Sheriff’s department for pictures of him taking a bong hit at a party.  I mean, really, was he ever going to be prosecuted in the first place?  Of course not; this was just a way for South Carolina to get itself in the news again as an ass-backwards state which cares more about “family values” than it does any sense of right or wrong.  Here’s to the propaganda stunt going down in flames, and Phelps being off the hook.

[Have you ever noticed that we almost always have more to cheer about than to jeer about?  It's a wonderful world.]

And, of course, at the end of every episode, we give you the new cuteness.  Tune in next week, same time, same station.

What are you Cheering and Jeering about this week?

Cheers to Charles Darwin, who turns 200 tomorrow.  We’ve got to hand it to the man, he’s still stirring up controversy almost 150 years after his publication of On the Origin of Species took the world by storm.  Honestly, though, we can’t see why, because after all, evolution makes sense.  Did we really have to go through this shit for nothing?  Which leads us to our next point for the week…

Jeers to CSBT.  Everyone’s favorite group on campus decided that to counteract the Year of the Sciences backed CLP’s on Darwin’s birthday, they’d launch a barrage of CLP’s themselves.  Isn’t it kind of difficult to stand on a moral or intellectual platform when it is built on nothing but the collective dislike of all things liberal?  I mean, I happen to like the idea of universal healthcare, a progressive tax bracket, and teaching scientific theories in school.  Makes you wonder where in the CSBT constitution there’s a rule against advocating common sense.

Cheers to Furman being chosen a Tree Campus USA by the Arbor Day Foundation.  We all knew that Furman was beautiful, but that doesn’t mean a thing until kickass environmental groups want to love on you with awards and such.  Take a minute today to look at the trees on our magnificent campus.  If you feel inspired, you might just want to run to the nearest one and give it a big, barky hug.

It wouldn’t be C&J without puppies, of course.  What are you cheering and jeering about this week?

Students live in constant awareness of that roving golf cart with the cute orange light on the top, of taking the parking ticket off the front of your car and seeing that name on the bottom.  Many people get a glimpse of him as he goes by, and chances are, if you go in the public safety office on any given day, you’ll hear people complaining about an unfair ticket.  We all have stories of how it feels to see that ticket on your car, and how it makes you feel like Kirk in the second feature film in the original Star Trek canon.

You

We at Furman Underground would like to give you a few tips to avoiding the most feared person on campus.

1. Don’t Drive – This is the most obvious way to avoid getting a ticket.  Get your fat ass out of bed 10 minutes earlier and walk to class.  You’re helping the environment and cutting down on “visual pollution,” whatever that means, not to mention the fact that it totally eliminates any temptation to drunk drive across campus (which is, by the way, every bit as illegal and stupid as drunk driving anywhere else).  Now, we know that there are those times when you need to drive, but the easiest way to avoid Officer 21 is to never see him.

2. Know When to Drive – According to Public safety, they want all cars in their designated lots from 7am-3pm (apparently, that’s in that dumb parking rules brochure that you threw out the first week of school); so, know when to drive and when they’re probably not going to give you a ticket.  For the PDen, don’t park in the 15-minute spots; you’re painting a target on your back.

Now, our next tricks are a bit more sneaky, but we know that you don’t always follow the rules, do you, you rebel?

3. Leave the Ticket on your Car – Now, this may seem like the oldest trick in the book, but surprisingly enough, it usually works.  Assuming you’ve already gotten a ticket, you can keep it in your glove compartment and put it back under your windshield when you need to park somewhere, hopefully fooling Officer 21 into thinking that he’s already given you a ticket.  What, you don’t think he writes so few that he can keep track?

4. Don’t Register Your Car – I have it from a reputable source (who will remain nameless for obvious reasons) who has parked as a guest on campus, moving from one lot to another, since September, and has yet to get a ticket or run into Officer 21.  Please note, this strategy is dangerous, but if you feel like taking a risk, you might just get away with it.  Or you might not.

5. Back Into Your Parking Space - I know some people have had luck backing into parking spaces. The logic is that O-21 will not go crawling into the bushes to see whether you have the correct parking sticker. It’s a little risky though so use at your own risk.

6. Keep Your Record Clean – Pay off your tickets as you get them. I have been pardoned for two tickets this year (one for parking, one for not stopping at stop signs) because I had no outstanding tickets on my record.

7. 18 miles an hour?  You Betcha. Pay attention to road signs, and stop at the stop signs, even if it’s 12:30 am on a Wednesday night. According to FUPO, “there are a lot of people walking around” at this hour. Never mind the fact that I never saw a single pedestrian. Maybe FUPO should be featured on Ghosthunters, as they seem to have the paranormal ability to see people who aren’t there.

[Thanks to Tory for the last 3 tips]

We hope this helps everyone.  Do you have any other suggestions?  If they’re good, we’ll add them to the post.

Keep it classy, SC.

Jeers to the Super Bowl itself.  In this time of economic difficulty for all, what the hell are we doing spending 3 Million Dollars for 30 seconds of advertising time?  From musical celebrations to fireworks to confetti to advertising, it’s a gigantic waste of time and resources.  But hey, the free market will go where the people making the money push it.

Cheers this week go out to Daniel Koppelman, professor in the music department who, in addition to receiving his second Fulbright Scholarship to present a concert of music in Odessa, Ukraine, has just secured a record deal with Everglade Records to sell his 5.1 DVD of music, entitled Escapement (and available for purchase at Amazon.com).  This just confirms the growing awareness of what those of us who are acquainted with Dr. Koppelman have known for a long time: He’s a raging badass.

Jeers to our school newspaper, who always seems to find a place for the stunts of the Conservative Students for a Better Tomorrow (CSBT) on the front page.  I understand that the object of a school newspaper is to report on the happenings of a school, but let’s be honest: Giving a high-school level summary of the event, using the speaker’s words as documented fact without referencing sources or doing independent research, and placing any reference of competing opinions into a blurb on page 4 is not my idea of a well-written news story.  To be clear: this has far less to do with CSBT as with the journalistic integrity of the Paladin, but in the interests of full disclosure, I do think that CSBT is a perfect name for such a worthless group: brazen in its propagandist nature, and with a name that is perfect in its ironic perfection.

And, of course, it wouldn’t be C&J without giving Cheers for Puppies.  This week?  It’s the Puppy Bowl, the annual excuse to ignore sports in favor of cuteness; having puppies run around on a field for an hour.  What could be cuter (or cheaper)?

We want to hear from you.  What are you Cheering and Jeering about this week?